Perry L. Gardner: Private Journal #35
Friday, September 13, 1991
It has been three months since my last visit to this Journal, and every day I have thoughts that should be here, but they can’t all be recalled. I guess I’ll have to start from here, today.
I am eating a lunch of Bonnie’s chicken soup, and a TV dinner of Salisbury steak and macaroni. This morning, I put together an eggplant Parmesan à la Micro Wave for tonight’s dinner. Bonnie has gone to lunch with Ginx Walker.
We went for a two-mile walk this morning, and I had a cup of caffeine coffee. I’m feeling somewhat better this week than I have since the end of August. Even though as of my August PSA by Dr. Bodi, I had a good low value and I was feeling well—except for the long hot summer. The low started on our Labor Day weekend mini-cruise. I had a severe gastrointestinal pain for a couple of hours on Labor Day evening while sailing. At the time, we thought it was just gas, but due to the fact I was suffering from excess fatigue for a couple of weeks, maybe it was a virus.
Bonnie had a high going to Rowe for a week the end of August, but she came home to a rejection by Barbara and has been in emotional pain ever since. On top of that, her allergies have been keeping her in discomfort in the mold spore and pollen season. She is very needy of love and companionship. I do what I can, but it gives me problems in that time and energy are taken away from working on my own problems.
I find it takes me some time to get myself in the mood to do things. To “follow my Bliss”, as Joseph Campbell has said. Even writing in this journal takes a state of mind, peace and quiet, energy, and will to make it happen. Wednesday morning I slept late, 9 AM, and took the whole day to hang out with Bonnie, and Thursday we went sailing. So two days of R&R, and the fatigue seems to have subsided. Sailing is physically tiring at this point, but by taking it easy, we got to enjoy even without enough wind.
My current enthusiasm is towards the Genealogy project which has been on hold for so long. I got a jump start from Elizabeth MacFarlane on the subject and joined the Huntington Historical Society, where research material exists locally. There I found in a three-volume book called, Families of Old Fairfield, countless records of the Perry Lockwood side of the tree. I have only scratched the surface there. Most of the names were on Elliott Gardner’s big pedigree chart, but the book has dates, and places, and verifications which were lacking on Dad’s chart. So I am methodically filling in pedigree charts and family group records in an effort to preserve family information in a more useful form.
Another reference was to the IGI, which is a file on microfiche of records taken and preserved by the Mormons, LDS. They have taken all sorts of records, such as deeds, wills, etc., and catalogued them. In this IGI, Elizabeth found some data for me on the Gardner side: Caitlyns, Seymours, etc., going back to the 1640’s in Connecticut. While I was making records, I also made up charts for Bonnie based on information on hand and from the Olds reunion in Orlando last spring. One might say, “So what?”, but I find this personal link with history fascinating, and something I would like to pass on to all the future generations who are connected to us. When I finally got around to personally trying to record history, I found my father and grandfather were gone, and there was no one to answer my questions. Perhaps one or two of my grandchildren might have a spark of interest, so they could ask me questions while I’m still here. Meanwhile, I’m searching for answers. I considered writing my own autobiography notes, as well as a “Stories My Daddy Told Me”, and something about Gramps, with whom I lived for 11 formative years. Unfortunately my mother’s record is even more obscure, but at least I should write down what I think I remember. Yes, in this male-dominated society (See the “Chalice and the Blade” that Bonnie has been reading to me) that patrilineage is easier to find than the matrilineage.
My other interests at this point are in the Golden Years of Aviation, through which I have lived, and grew up with intense interest, and the models, which help me make history 3D, and in the background are the models of ships and the stories of the marine tradition, which hold my interest.
In the real world, I’m trying to overcome inertia and get started on the new roof this home desperately needs. I borrowed the money to do it last year, put in a new furnace with some of it, but the concrete plan and implementation need doing.
And surrounding us is the clutter, which is so distracting and hard to deal with. Too many decisions: what to keep, where to keep it, why to keep it, and what to throw away.
My right hand is getting numb from holding this pen, so I will stop now.